On one of the last sunny Sundays in Copenhagen, we sat down in our Reading Garden with Robert to talk about his life journey and his experience with the Human Library. We wanted to share his story with you not only because he is a fascinating Book on our shelf, but also because he has been dedicated to visiting our Reading Garden twice a month, from spring to autumn, making him consistently present throughout the season. Robert has known our library for a long time, but officially joined two years ago, and since then, he has mostly participated in events in the Reading Garden. Robert represents two titles in the Human Library: one as a gay man who has become a father of two children, and the other relating to his experience with a hearing disability.
Disability and New Possibilities
Robert has likely had a hearing disability since birth, giving him limited sound perception—he cannot hear sounds like birds or voices. At just three years old, he received his first hearing aid to develop the basic levels of sound that most people are born with. He acknowledges that it wasn’t easy, but today he speaks four languages fluently. In casual conversations, most people would never guess that his hearing is in any way deviated from the norm.
As we sat in the Reading Garden, we were having a thought-provoking conversation about what it was like for Robert to grow up with a hearing disability. He faced many challenges throughout his childhood, but thanks to his parents’ support, he learned to navigate his condition. Today, with a broad smile, almost as if it was a sign of gratitude, he says:
“I believe that when you have a disability, you develop different skills to compensate for what you’ve lost. I also believe you can live a perfectly normal life, just like anyone else.”
Robert explains that his condition forced him to develop empathy and the ability to read people’s expressions. At work, he prefers smaller groups or one-on-one interactions, as they allow him to focus better without the distraction of various noises. He believes the hearing disability also made him better at connecting with people. Additionally, he mentions that over the years, he has developed an acute sensitivity to vibrations.
Being a gay parent
Once Robert had adapted to the specific challenges of living with a hearing disability, a new challenge emerged. He is gay and wanted to become a parent. After exploring his options, he met the mother of his children online. They started spending time together as friends, and a few months later, they decided to have their first child. A few years after that, their second child was born. As this isn’t the most conventional way to start a family, we asked Robert how people around him reacted to his decision.
“I didn’t encounter anyone who was against it. I remember telling my colleagues, and they thought it was amazing. Most people never considered this as a way to have kids, but why not? However, I do feel that dating became more difficult because suddenly I wasn’t just ‘me’ anymore. I have two kids now, so if I date someone and want them to meet my children, I need to be really sure about the relationship.”
Becoming an Open Book to Avoid Closing Off
We asked Robert a few questions to gain insight into his story, but it quickly became clear that his story is incredibly complex, and there are always more questions to ask. He mentions that new questions from readers continually challenge him and help him expand his own perspectives.
“I like to expand my horizons here and be challenged. We all have our routines—we go to work, we meet our families—but for me, it feels like the same circle over and over again. One reason I come here is to meet new people. I remember a couple of weeks ago I was talking about being a gay parent with a group from Korea, and I could see that they were very surprised by my story. At that moment, I became aware of my own prejudice, because most of the people I talk to are Danes, Scandinavians, or Europeans who are more familiar with the idea. I realized that what seems normal to me may not seem normal to others.”
Temporary Goodbye to the Reading Garden
Towards the end of our interview, we asked Robert about his future plans, since the Reading Garden in Copenhagen is now officially closed before the next season starts. Although he has a full-time job and sometimes finds it challenging to attend our events, he expressed interest in trying more online events and pushing himself to create a relaxed, personal atmosphere in virtual settings.
“I’ve tried a few online events, but I didn’t feel like I created as strong a connection between the Book and the Reader as I do in real life. However, I see it as a challenge I want to explore—to figure out how to create that space online. At work, I have many online meetings, and it’s always about creating a safe, trusting environment with stakeholders around the world. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how to apply that to the Human Library’s online events.”
We look forward to sharing Robert’s titles—“Gay Parent” and “Hearing Disability”—whether it be online or at our in-person events in the future.
